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Are you able to love yourself? - 12th February 2019


The entire month of February seems dominated by Valentine's Day, don't you think? It's neatly placed at the mid-point of the month and let's face it, in the Northern hemisphere at any rate, we could all do with a bit of warm-hearted love this month!

What does this have to do with decluttering? Read on to find out.



Not so long ago any mention of 'self-love' would have been met with quizzical expressions, and a distinct feeling that it surely can't be right to love yourself. Fortunately times are changing. 

Mindfulness and meditation are growing in popularity, and both these pursuits encourage a love of self. They invite us to step away from the self-critical egoic mind, and instead, to enter a place of stillness and self-acceptance. 

I confess I have come late to this place myself. Early conditioning, an empathic nature, and life experience meant I suffered with chronic anxiety for many years. In that place I found it impossible to have any love for myself. Maybe you know what it feels like to always be your own worst enemy? To speak to yourself in a way that you would never dream of using on anyone else?


The benefits of compassion for self

When you begin to treat yourself with kindness, respect, and yes, love, then amazing things begin to happen. 


Many of my clients, and perhaps more significantly, those who have engaged with me but not taken it further, have been hugely critical of the state in which they find themselves. They are often ashamed and riddled with guilt. They give themselves a hard time which serves to push away anyone who might be able to help or offer support. They behave as though they need to feel bad about things, there is a self-destructive state of mind that has the upper hand.

So, what happens when you actually cut yourself some slack and start treating yourself with loving kindness? My experience has been that I feel calmer, less on edge, I have more capacity to cope when things don't go my way. I have more mental clarity and less overwhelm.


Where to start


Try some meditation or mindfulness. If that feels inaccessible just start listening to the voice you have in your head that constantly criticises you, nags you and generally tells you that you are useless. Once you hear it properly it's in your grasp to change it. If something goes 'wrong' do what you can to say to yourself, "I can cope" or "it doesn't matter" rather than the nasty alternative. Just try it.  Begin to respond to those internal calls you have been ignoring. Respond positively to your need for rest, your need for healthy food, your need for healthy company. 


Decluttering with love

Once you stop beating yourself up for being useless, then you have a whole lot more mental space to take action in regard to your clutter. If you need some support then you are able to ask for help, knowing that decluttering is in itself an act of self love. Once the guilt and blame have taken a back seat the chances are you will find the whole decluttering process to be much, much easier than you ever imagined. If you get stuck at any point you will treat yourself with kindness before moving on.

Since I work holistically I encourage people to declutter any conditioning or habits that don't serve them. This is the gateway to successful decluttering of your living space. 

Are you ready to give yourself some decluttering love? Call me today on 07850 580802 for a no obligation chat.




Keywords: self-care, holistic, self-worth


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