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You don't deserve to live in a cluttered home - 5th February 2020
Of course you don't deserve to live in a cluttered home!
You don't deserve to be surrounded by chaos. You don't deserve to feel stressed by the muddle that surrounds you. You might sometimes have these thoughts yourself, "I don't deserve this".
Quite some years ago I had a phase when I seemed to go from one dreadful job to another. I became incredibly stressed as a result and was often tearful. It felt like someone else was running my life. I often thought to myself that I didn't deserve the situations I found myself in.
Now, looking back, I am better equipped to appreciate what was going on for me
Since early childhood I was anxious and had low self-esteem. I learned this from my mother. I grew into a very quiet young adult, practically apologising for my own existence.
What I realise now is that I had such low self-worth that I attracted bad experiences and people who didn't respect me as I would have liked. At this time I had no idea that in order to change things I had to start with myself. We can never change other people but it IS possible to rebuild our own internal landscape.
A part of you believes you don't deserve a clutter-free home
You might not be aware of it, but this could be what is sabotaging your decluttering efforts. If you are the kind of person who periodically blitzes their home and then weeks later the clutter has returned, what exactly is going on? Maybe you can't even make a start on decluttering - despite wanting something better? Why not?
I'm no psychologist and only have my own experiences to offer as an example. Why did I stick it out in jobs where I was not valued, jobs where I was bullied, jobs that had me in tears every evening? The simple answer was that I did not have a voice to say, "I refuse to be treated this way". I had no boundaries and no self-worth.
Self-awareness is the way forward
When life isn't going too well it's easy to get lost in a mire of overwhelm and self-pity. "Why me?" When we ask that question it's usually rhetorical. What if you actually asked it and looked for the answer? Why ARE you stuck in a cluttered situation?
I won't say I am 100% over my low self-esteem but I am a million times better than when I was working for dreadful employers. The main thing I've learned is to be curious about my reactions to life events, curious about what holds me back and so on. If you cultivate the habit of observing your own behaviour and thoughts it's possible you will discover what is really driving you. Once you have a sense of why you accept clutter as your 'normal' that is the first step towards a solution.
A new practice to learn - I can support you
If that all sounds a bit complicated then this is an area in which I can guide you. I know the territory!
If you are a regular reader you will know I work holistically. There is little point in me helping clients with practical decluttering if they are just going to revert back once the session has ended. All my various services incorporate looking at your "head clutter" for this very reason.
Please contact me and we can arrange a chat to work out what would be best for you. Then you really can aspire to a clutter-free home and know you deserve it!
Keywords: self-worth, anxiety, self-awareness