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Decluttering, an uphill struggle? - 31st August 2021
In theory it's easy enough. Decide what you don't want. Remove it from your home. Job done. Not a complex process, so why is it that so many people just get stuck?
Clearly it's about more than the clutter itself.
Here's what holds you back
- Your relationship with everything you own
- The beliefs you hold about yourself
This is where my concept of head clutter comes into play. My belief is that there is no home clutter without head clutter. If your belongings were just 'things' and you had no attachment then you would identify and clear clutter with ease. You would be far less likely to accumulate it. Very few people are in this category, by the way!
Any time you feel you've been fighting a losing battle with decluttering it's probably because you started from a perspective of it being a purely practical exercise. I hope you can appreciate now, that's rarely the case. You will have become stuck because your beliefs or attachment got in the way.
What can you do?
Firstly, think about what you say to yourself about your cluttered situation. Do you have a lot of self-judgement? What are those voices in your head telling you? Probably that you are useless and will never succeed. See how you stop yourself before you've even started? Find some alternative positive statements that you can affirm about yourself. Do this several times a day out loud. The statements need to be the opposite of what pops naturally into your mind.
If you wish to go further with this, and I would encourage it, consider, how did those negative voices land in you? This is your conditioning and has likely been there since you were very little. This is why it's so hard to shake off. Even when your logical mind knows it's untrue and unhealthy.
Consider for each item that is "stuck",
What makes it valuable?
What feelings arise when you think about parting with it?
How would you feel without it?
I suggest you jot down your responses and take your time.
This is your opportunity to uncover the hidden emotions that prevent you from decluttering. You might feel tearful during this process. Remember, it's OK to cry and often, after the tears comes a realisation. By doing this you will go beneath the surface attachment and come to understand what is going on. Release the need to control your emotions. Willpower is not going to help you with this!
Ultimately you will reach a point where you can make an informed decision. Keep it? Or declutter it?
If these exercises seem inaccessible but thought provoking then do get in touch. I can help you make the breakthrough you need in order to clear you clutter. My one to one coaching sessions are an effective way of getting literally to the heart of the matter in a very gentle way. Please contact me for more information if you feel drawn to do so. I would love to help you!
Keywords: beliefs, emotions, overwhelm