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Vyvien's decluttering success will surprise you! - 29th April 2025
Today I had an unexpected message from my client Vyvien. She had attached this photo, explaining that she had filled eight bags with unwanted items and had delivered them to a local charity shop. 
What's so surprising about that you may ask
When Vyvien and I first spoke she told me she had a lot of clutter she needed to clear but was finding it practically impossible to make progress. I booked Vyvien in for a complimentary video chat so I could find out more about her situation. During the call I got the sense that a practical session would be difficult for several reasons. It was clear to me that Vyvien wanted to clear her clutter but it was also apparent that she had some emotional blocks that would likely prevent this from happening. I envisaged her needing multiple home visit sessions but I also wondered if it would just be too hard for us both. I also pondered the likely outcome of Vyvien experiencing overwhelm during my visit as we selected items for her to declutter whilst totally ignoring her deeper feelings.
If you are a regular reader of my blog posts you will know that I often speak of 'head clutter' as part of the same challenge as home clutter. Since my experience of exhaustion in 2015 and my road to recovery I have gained an understanding of how our personal beliefs and childhood programming can have a major impact on our lives until we recognise what is going on and make concerted efforts to change these negative patterns. Most people have no awareness of what is happening in their subconcious, let alone how to heal the problem.
I had a sense that video coaching sessions to address head clutter would be the best route for Vyvien
Vyvien agreed. On the first session we had some discussion about the home clutter but after that it was scarcely mentioned. A few weeks ago Vyvien told me she'd done a small amount of decluttering and today I got the message about the EIGHT BAGS she had taken to a charity shop.
So what changed for Vyvien?
During the coaching process Vyvien spoke of her day-to-day challenges and many of them were prompted by her lack of self-esteem, poor self image, inability to say "no" to anyone, complete absence of personal boundaries, and general assumptions that she was not up to much personally, was a failure, never good enough, etc, etc, etc. A very long list of difficulties. You may recognise some of these, perhaps?
I know from my own experience that it's hard to make dynamic decisions when your head is full of self criticism. Another way to view it is via your lack of boundaries. When you can't say "no" to anyone, you are not in possession of your own destiny, you are not making your own life choices. It therefore makes perfect sense that you are also unable to say "no" to those possessions in your home that are nothing more than unwanted clutter. This is because at some deep subconscious level you are telling yourself that you can't make those kind of decisions. The big question is - why do you believe this? This is where I can help. I can guide you because I know the territory and have transformed myself with the support of my own coach. I offer insight and teach practices to help you unravel your programming.
Everyone is different: but many people experience low self-esteem
Vyvien's situation will not mirror your situation. However, I have noticed a common theme amongst women especially of low self-esteem and self criticism. Sometimes these negative thoughts are actually verbalised and it and it is shocking to hear. If this sounds familiar to you and you feel stuck in life, not just with home clutter, but stuck with everything, please get in touch and book a complimentary video chat. It lasts around 30 minutes and you can ask me anything you like. There is no expectation on my part that you take up coaching unless it feels right for you and that is your decision. Hopefully seeing me and talking to me will help you decide if you can work with me.
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